The Future is Here: Blame-Driven Development
Forget Agile, SAFe, or TDD. This is BDD: a methodology ensuring no code ever ships, but everyone knows exactly whose fault it was.
Designer Admits Even They Can’t Find Figma File
“We got 38 versions of the checkout flow, two of them literally called DO_NOT_USE_THIS_ONE_FINAL.”
74-Year-Old Grandma PM Outperforms McKinsey Hotshot
Barbara, nearing retirement, still unblocks more projects than Chad’s synergy quadrants ever will.
Exec Finally Learns How to Open PDF, Still Stuck on Cover
“It looks like a brochure,” he said. “Does the rest unlock at the board meeting?”
Developers Admit to Job-Security-Driven Code Chaos
“I could refactor this in 2 minutes, but I’d be laid off in 3.”
Senior Leader Immediately Questions Project's Entire Premise
Three months of workshops undone by a single “Why are we even doing this?”
PM Thrilled Outlook Redesign Adds Single ‘Forward’ Button
“Finally I can escalate issues without the hassle of reading them.”
Confluence Page So Bloated It Collapsed the Server
A digital transformation team’s 9,000-word “living document” on login flows, stuffed with 47 flowcharts and 300 comments, finally crashed the Confluence server.
Developers Ask AI How to Assign Blame Tactfully
Reports confirm devs are increasingly turning to AI tools like Claude to reword Jira comments.
Sales & Marketing Adopt BDD, Accidentally Predict Market
Told to make up numbers, analysts stumbled into accurate forecasts — winning huge contracts.
New Dad Admits He Used to Just "Work From Home"
Before parenthood, “working from home” meant gaming, updating Jira occasionally, and browsing Reddit. “Now with a newborn, I actually work harder — just not for the company.”
RAG Status Olympics Kicks Off
Competing to hold “Amber” indefinitely. Extra points were awarded for creative hybrids like “Amber-Red” and “Dark Amber.” Sponsors confirmed no one actually knows what any of it means.
Overeager Devs Demand Figma Access Before Approvals
Developers insisted they need access to half-baked Figma files long before design sign-off. “How can I start blaming Ted early if I can’t even peek at the draft?” one engineer argued.
Design Org Structure Changed Again
Leadership proudly announced design would be re-centralized, reversing last year’s decentralization move. “Shaking up the org chart every 18 months keeps people from realizing the real problem is us,” explained the VP of Design.
Passion Music Side Project Consumes More Time Than Production Bugs
Colleagues confirmed senior dev Beth has spent more hours in Logic Pro than in the codebase this quarter. “Look, production’s always on fire,” Beth explained. “But my album? That’s clean, modular, and actually ships.”
15 Reasons Your Blame Game Off
We only thought of 14, but 15 sounded better.