The Blame-Driven Development Manifesto

We are uncovering better ways of writing software by assigning responsibility for failures and making sure someone pays the price.

Through this work we have come to value:

Blame and Accountability over working software

Jira tickets over actual problem-solving

Comprehensive Confluence docs over meaningful outcomes

Finger-pointing over collaboration

Process compliance over customer satisfaction

Escalation chains over team trust

Retro blame-storms over retrospectives

Spreadsheets of shame over bug fixes

Heroic failure stories over boring stability

Never letting go of grudges over continuous improvement

Signed by thought leaders in BDD:

Barbara, 74-year-old PM

Ted, Figma File Hoarder

Chad, Ex-McKinsey Consultant

dev_guy_42, Jira Ticket Alchemist

Exhausted QA Tester

VP of Design (org chart pending)

The Intern (blamed for everything)

My imaginary lawyer insists I tell you: this is satire. All logos stolen from Wikipedia, all humans borrowed from Sora, all wisdom forged in 10+ years of badly building software. If you follow any of this advice seriously, congratulations — you’ve perfectly embodied Blame-Driven Development.

© 2025 Blame-Driven Development Quarterly. All rights reserved.

My imaginary lawyer insists I tell you: this is satire. All logos stolen from Wikipedia, all humans borrowed from Sora, all wisdom forged in 10+ years of badly building software. If you follow any of this advice seriously, congratulations — you’ve perfectly embodied Blame-Driven Development.

© 2025 Blame-Driven Development Quarterly. All rights reserved.

My imaginary lawyer insists I tell you: this is satire. All logos stolen from Wikipedia, all humans borrowed from Sora, all wisdom forged in 10+ years of badly building software. If you follow any of this advice seriously, congratulations — you’ve perfectly embodied Blame-Driven Development.

© 2025 Blame-Driven Development Quarterly. All rights reserved.